Yesterday I caved in and bought cigarettes for C. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I just can't seem to figure out what the right thing is. After thinking about it a lot, and doing some reading, I started to think that maybe buying her cigarettes was actually an aid to her recovery since when she doesn't have them she goes insane and can't focus on anything else.
I don't know. It's probably a stupid decision. I'm probably being taken advantage of. But somehow that's easier to live with than wondering if my action (or lack of action) could sabotage her recovery. I just want her to get well.
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