This morning C told me she had decided to go to a different recovery centre because she doesn't like the one she's in. (This, I suspect, is because they are pressuring her to stop taking the pain medication.) She said she was going to fax in an application to another centre today. While she was talking to me, one of the staff members told C to get off the phone and C got really obnoxious about it. Unable to keep my mouth shut, I told C she'd better be careful about getting too lippy before she's found a new place to go lest she get kicked out.
Then we decided to go out. We took Little J to the YMCA to swim and I worked out in the gym, taking out all my frustrations on the machines. Very satisfying.
When we got back, C called again to inform us she has officially been kicked out of her current centre and has not yet been accepted anywhere else. On the application form for the new centre she decided to write horrible things about the staff at the current centre, and then, absurdly, used their fax machine to send it. And then was shocked to find that one of the staff members at the current place actually read the document.
They gave her 48 hours to get out.
She asked for advice from the women's resource centre who suggested she go to the Salvation Army where she could get a cot for a few weeks while she tried to find a new centre to live in. She told me this was unacceptable to her. I told her she isn't really in a position to be picky like that. What I did not do was offer her a bed at our house, and this is because I have been advised by every drug addiction specialist I've spoken to that it is necessary to allow her to reach rock bottom no matter how awful that is because it's the only chance that she might decide to change her life.
What a mess.
If C was a normal human being this would be the moment in her life that she would realise she had to do something drastic to fix up her life. But she's not, and I fear that she won't. I can't even guess at what will transpire next in this drama, but I'm trying to keep my stomach knot-free the way it usually is after a good workout. I'm trying to focus on what's good about this, which is that she may be ensuring her own child's safety by putting herself in a position where she is less and less able to care for her.
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2 comments:
I wish I could be there with you. Hang in there kiddo and know that I'm thinking of you and loving you every minute. Oh and stock up on shock tarts. ~kiss~
~hugs~ Thanks you. I miss ya.
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