My relationship with K is much more complex, made up of tentative gestures and large pockets of unsaid thoughts. K is consciously ethical, acutely aware of Standards of Practice and Codes of Ethics and Union Rules. She does not say much, in fact, when it matters most. And yet she is the one I would be more likely to count upon to understand a complicated situation and navigate the way through it. I once threw a bet to her. I once gave her a Pez dispenser. I once shared with her a piece of personal history. She received all these gifts in similar ways. She has a sharp edge that makes me nervous but is easy to respect. I whispered a concern to her today. She said, Yeah, that'll happen.
If I were to share that same concern with S, he would say, Haha, well that's because you're wonderful! Have I told you that yet today, haha?! You end up doing everyone's work because you're good at it. You need to stop that, haha! But please don't.
Neither response answers my need. I follow up with a conversation with my dashboard.