prove powerful

I've been feeling... moody. A lot of factors are at work: I miss Shawn; I haven't been going "out" much and been spending way too much time in pajamas; it has been dark and cold and cloudy... but mostly I think it's about cancer.

I keep thinking about cancer and how it keeps on bursting into the lives of people I care about and changing them, scaring them, threatening them...

It makes me sad and being sad makes me angry. Moody.

*

I called Shawn's mother yesterday to wish her a happy birthday, and we made plans for her and D to come by on Sunday for tea. I'm really going to miss both of them when are living far away. The last two years I have gotten to know Shawn's mother a lot better than I have in the past, and though I've always loved her, having her nearby has been wonderful, and having D in our family is a blessing for all of us.

Not only does D take wonderful care of Shawn's mother in ways that her ex-husband never did, but she's also just fun to be around. She's funny, she's tough, and she's down to earth. And strong! Many years ago I made a tabletop from mosaic tile for the patio, and Shawn and I recently decided that we weren't going to take this table with us to BC... and when we gave it to D and Shawn's mother, we carried it out to D's truck together... and were astonished when she took it from us by herself and heaved it up onto the truck bed without any help at all.

We've loved being able to do things for them too, and getting them the new puppy and the backyard swing and a few other little gifts has been gratifying. It feels good to be able to spoil them a bit.

*