pecan tree

I need to learn not to take anything she says too seriously because she always threatens to do a hundred scary dangerous things before she settles on the way she'd most like to hurt you. So there's no sense in suffering the anticipation of the ninety nine threats that precede it.

This morning she took back most of what she said earlier about leaving treatment early, claiming that now she spoke to someone else who advised her to stay longer and would like to follow their advice. Tonight she was back to being miserable, and told Little J she has no friends in treatment because of some girl-drama that took place in the house. Unfortunately, drama follows C wherever she goes because she is a person who likes stirring the pot until it splashes up and burns her, and then I always have the weird feeling that part of her is enjoying being grievously injured. As usual, I have no idea what will happen next, whether I'll be Saint Lisa again, or Satan Part 2. All I know for sure is that I need to learn how to stop letting my emotions (and my stomach) hinge upon her erratic behaviour, or else I'll never eat again.

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Speaking of eating, we went for dinner tonight with my parents, and then back to our place afterward for a drink. Shawn's Dad and stepmom came over for a drink too, and we spent a few hours chatting with them all getting to know each other better. I think it went well and although they're all quite different people, it was a nice time. Tomorrow morning my parents are coming over again for coffee in the morning before they continue their west coast tour to the island. I feel I have come to an understanding with my parents than I have never had before, a clearer picture of what they were going through when I was a child and why things were the way they were. It doesn't mean I like it but I can clearly see now why there wasn't a leftover sliver of patience for anything else.



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