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For some reason, I own a hair straightener, which is weird because my hair is naturally stick-straight. This afternoon I used it to iron the sleeves of a shirt that had come out of the laundry looking a little wrinkly. It specifically says not to do this in the instructions, as though someone from the "The Beauty Connection" was looking over my shoulder and anticipating my every move. Those clever women. The name makes me laugh. I imagine myself phoning the number in the instruction booklet to confess to The Beauty Connection that I have used their product for a purpose for which it was not intended. They purse their voluminous lips and shake their shiny, super-straight hair. I'm not sure what happens after that. "How does it feel to be one of the beautiful?" I inquire. There were no dire consequences to my using the straightener as an iron, at least, none that I have discerned at this point in time.
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