Something that amazes me is how quickly, when I communicate with old friends from when I was thirteen and fourteen, I can feel myself surrounded by that peculiar and specific loneliness and ache that went with being that age. It's like I'm still there for that moment in time. This morning I got a letter from B.G. who was one of my three best friends back then and I found myself almost instantly in tears, partly experiencing sadness for him, for all he has revealed was going on in his life back then. And partly for me, for what was happening in my life that I never shared with any of them. It hits me now that all four of us were going through it together; we just weren't talking about it. It's not a coincidence, however, that we were friends. We were drawn together, I'm certain, because of it.
*
Labels
- actors are scum (9)
- Allah (1)
- BB (11)
- books (51)
- BPPV (8)
- can't cook (6)
- CC (3)
- childhood (6)
- counselling (7)
- Crazy Sue (36)
- CreepyBeard (3)
- dogs (24)
- dreams (17)
- faith (2)
- false gossip (2)
- family (29)
- fashion blog (13)
- gorilla products (3)
- heart (1)
- hiking (3)
- I hate the Baldwins (5)
- Italy and travel (11)
- labels (2)
- love (1)
- no label for shit like this (1)
- Open Letters to Mark Zuckerberg (3)
- paint and tile (17)
- psychology (29)
- quantum (9)
- running (11)
- running away (6)
- sister (13)
- teaching (95)
- wishes (3)
- yoga (3)
- YVR (3)
Blog Archive
-
▼
2008
(257)
-
▼
September
(17)
- Sometimes Little J is so cute I could just strangl...
- it falls apart in little pieces on the floor
- set on you
- pretending it's Friday
- I had my doubts.
- Something that amazes me is how quickly, when I co...
- I believe that C is planning to kidnap Little J an...
- dramas
- some things survived
- my good friend
- well?
- sweet dreams.
- because you're mine
- with with with
- don't waste your time on me
- more of everything
- Every now and then the things I lean on lose their...
-
▼
September
(17)
3 comments:
it's kind of...interesting. when you mentioned in an earlier entry that you'd joined facebok, i got curious as to what that was, and went and joined myself.....and then suddenly i was faced with the fact that people i went to high school with wefre all sending me notes, pestering me if i was coming to our 10 year high schoo reunion this next spring...(gosh i feel old now!) n anyway it's so weird, because they are all acting as if they cant wait to hear from me, but all i can feel is lonelyness and sadness because i remember those same people not really paying much attention to me at all back then.....heh anyway, that was my randomness for the day lol
I wrote an email to this effect recently. I wander in a path thru the forest where the people are the trees, & I am UNreciprocated. This remoteness is something leaving us existential, but also prone. I can't think of a better Office? from which we manufacture motive. I was in Ontario, by the way,last Summer: Iron Bridge & Blind River... my wife's family has a cottage there. Damned nice-rt around this time last yr. getting cooler there
Yes, I'm not convinced Facebook is really a good idea. My husband, who dabbles in conspiracy theory, thinks it is merely a government tool for keeping track of people and charting the circles in which they travel. Me, I don't know, but I have been surprised by how easily transported backward in time I have been and also shocked at how much it hurts to learn that people I was friends with back then were suffering right there, sitting right next to me in class suffering, and I had no idea.
*
I like Ontario in the summer in spite of the humidity. I like the lushness and I like how old it all seems compared with the west. I live it even better this time of year when the leaves change.
Post a Comment