It's always two steps forward, three steps back. Frustrating. Part of me (most of me) doesn't want to be involved in this stuff. I'd like to divorce myself from all of them and just be left in peace, but it can't work that way anymore. I'm an adult and I'm supposed to participate in solving these family problems. I just don't know how. Everyone seems to expect me to act as the mediator, translating all the anger and irrationality into things that make sense and don't hurt and are clearly understandable. And I'm doing it. But I'm getting sick and tired of it. Why can't they talk directly? Why do I have to mediate? Why can't they learn after all this time how to talk to each other? If it wasn't for little J, I think I would have nothing to do with any of this. The phone is starting to melt into my head.
Today was our last rehearsal for the show and it was kind of sloppy. So tomorrow we open and while I'm not really looking forward to being out every night this week, the one good thing that will come of it is that no one in my family will be able to phone me!
Once this show closes on Friday I am done for the school year. From then on I am leaving with the bell and giving no more of my real life away for free.
1 comment:
~hugs tight tight~ I'm here thinking of you and holding your hand, i hope you can feel it
love you muchly
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