I keep trying to remind myself to take pictures of things every day - and forgetting. So I'm putting up an old picture of Little Puppy wearing her sweater. When we got her this sweater, at first we thought something was wrong with her, that she might be ill, because she started lying around on her back like this without moving, without getting up for any reason. We eventually discovered that when we took the sweater off, she would return to her usual bouncy self. The sweater, I think, is just too comfortable, and saps her will to move. I can relate. I have some pajamas like that.
*
Yesterday I wished I had my camera as I crossed the bridge during sunrise. What I saw before me was amazing: the bridge over the ocean, tall glass buildings in the distance reflecting the sunrise so much that they appeared to be on fire, and the mountains behind them, and the sky.
Of course taking pictures while driving isn't recommended and would have been unsafe, but had I brought the camera with me, I think I might have risked it anyway because I'm sometimes just irresponsible like that.
Of course taking pictures while driving isn't recommended and would have been unsafe, but had I brought the camera with me, I think I might have risked it anyway because I'm sometimes just irresponsible like that.
*
This morning we had breakfast at the inlaws' place. I am learning that at the inlaws', much like I have heard about being in Japan, one must exercise caution with compliments. If I tell them I like something in their house, they promptly box it up for me to take home. Today we came home with cheese scones (which I didn't feel bad about in the least) and several candles, which did make me feel a little guilty because by now I should be able to predict this will happen. No more compliments from me.
Shawn's Dad is coming over tonight while J is out. Shawn went shopping to buy a bottle of wine and some wood for the fireplace, and I stayed home to tidy up the kitchen. While he was gone I was thinking about our life. Well, life in general, too, the way I've spent a lot of my life looking forward to the next phase. In university I couldn't wait to be done with my education so I could get out into the workforce and start earning a living instead of accumulating debts. And when I arrived in the world of work, I looked forward to to a day when I could afford not to work and go back to school. I looked forward to Shawn finding the right job for him, and then when those things happened, I looked forward to finding work again. It seemed like we were always waiting for something to happen so something else could happen... always looking forward instead of living in the present.
And now I have this different feeling, like we've arrived at the place I want to be and there isn't really anything else I'm waiting for. Though I anticipate many more special events in our life together, I don't feel, anymore, as though I'm just getting through something so I get to the other side of it. I feel like this is right where I want to be. I want to live here, I want this job, I want this home, I want this life, this marriage, this family. I want what I have right now. That means anything more is just a lottery prize.
Shawn, when he arrived back home, put the wine and the fire logs away and then turned to me and said, "I like our life here."
*
Shawn's Dad is coming over tonight while J is out. Shawn went shopping to buy a bottle of wine and some wood for the fireplace, and I stayed home to tidy up the kitchen. While he was gone I was thinking about our life. Well, life in general, too, the way I've spent a lot of my life looking forward to the next phase. In university I couldn't wait to be done with my education so I could get out into the workforce and start earning a living instead of accumulating debts. And when I arrived in the world of work, I looked forward to to a day when I could afford not to work and go back to school. I looked forward to Shawn finding the right job for him, and then when those things happened, I looked forward to finding work again. It seemed like we were always waiting for something to happen so something else could happen... always looking forward instead of living in the present.
And now I have this different feeling, like we've arrived at the place I want to be and there isn't really anything else I'm waiting for. Though I anticipate many more special events in our life together, I don't feel, anymore, as though I'm just getting through something so I get to the other side of it. I feel like this is right where I want to be. I want to live here, I want this job, I want this home, I want this life, this marriage, this family. I want what I have right now. That means anything more is just a lottery prize.
Shawn, when he arrived back home, put the wine and the fire logs away and then turned to me and said, "I like our life here."
*
No comments:
Post a Comment