i'm writing you now just to see if you're better

I am EXHAUSTED. The show I'm directing goes up in less than two weeks and these final rehearsals are killing me. They're so long and tedious and tiring and boring that I feel like screaming by the end of them. I know a large part of the problem is blood sugar levels because I don't bring enough food for lunch and snacks to keep me going. I'll be so glad when this is over and I can go home at 3:00 like everyone else.

Meanwhile, of course, I am worried and stressed out about all the zillions of things that should be done and I'm not sure if they are or not.

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Yesterday's conference was interesting. I learned a lot about how bullying tactics differ between girls and boys and ways to help kids cope with internet harassment and other forms of "technology based" bullying, like text messaging and three way calling and so forth. It was all a lot to take in and surprising to see how many different ways kids have come up with to torture each other that I'd never even heard of.

The best part was spending time with colleagues that I didn't know well and learning more about them. They invited me to join their book club. I've been so antisocial for so long since the last time we moved that it's exciting to be making friends again.

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Tomorrow Little Puppy is going to the vet again to see if we can get more information about why she is sometimes not interested in eating and sometimes throws up. She has to have blood taken, which always upsets her (and therefore me) so I am hoping this test will provide the answers we need so we can stop searching and start treating.

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I got an email from T yesterday, a cheerful email with news about Christmas and photos of her family, and nothing in it whatsoever about chemotherapy, radiation, medication... I hope I hope I hope this means that she's winning the fight and able to enjoy some good things in life right now because she certainly deserves to. I responded with the same tone she used. Maybe we've talked enough about death and disaster for a little while. Maybe a little levity can help with recovery.

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