I want to be the girl with the most cake.

It's starting to look like we're not going to move anywhere after all, at least not as suddenly and abruptly as it was beginning to look like. After lots of looking at the options and considering various minute details, it seems like staying right where he is will work out best. There's nothing like job offers in other places to make one's own company show a little more appreciation! Although I was somewhat intrigued by the idea of moving and exploring a new place... there's another part of me that's really pleased that we will get to use our new jacuzzi tub after all and enjoy all the beautiful things we picked out for our new house. Leaving that behind was a big minus on my list of reasons not to go. The builder is way behind in finishing our house but this, too, has turned out to be a good thing as the cost of our new house remains locked and the value of the one we're selling climbs 5% monthly.

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On Thursday night J called to talk to Shawn about his upcoming divorce and plans for the future. Listening to Shawn talk to him somehow made me fall in love with him more, if that's possible. He was so kind and genuine -- but at the same time, managed to tell him the truth, that we've all been concerned about J's drug use. It's a subject no one has wanted to broach, and hearing Shawn do it with such gentle concern and honesty made me feel one of those enormous internal swells when you know that you're in the most right place with the most right person in the whole universe. I think that J appreciated it too in spite of it being difficult to hear.

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Yesterday I was driving like a maniac. I took a U-turn in front of a school so that I could park out front rather than going around the back and stomping through the mud, and because I was looking at the school rather than the road, I bit the curb as I came around and gave the car a flat tire. Sigh. I was enormously fortunate that a kindly bus driver came to help me change the tire because I'm moderately certain I would not have been successful at loosening the bolts on my own. Although it was an irritation I had not anticipated for Friday afternoon, I felt awfully lucky to have demonstrable proof that the world is home to Good People.

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This afternoon we went to dealerships to look at cars. Shawn is in love with some Acura that has a voice activated navigation and GPS system. Sometimes Shawn is soooo male. I give him credit, most of the time, for being more highly evolved than most, but when it comes to cars he is all about testosterone.

Practicality, safety, fuel efficiency, price... I can say these words until my throat hurts. These things don't matter. What matters is what's cool. He's drooling over leather seats with seat warmers and electronic gadgetry.

I think it'll be awhile before we actually purchase a car. Time in which he will be trying to convince me that his dream car should be our dream car. I already know that just the same way we ended up with kitchen appliances that have higher IQs than many people I know, Shawn will win this debate because he actually cares what kind of car we drive. And while I'd rather we bought something more practical, I don't really care enough to stand in his way. My apathy works against me when it comes to getting "my way". But it stops me from developing ulcers.

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