and every stranger's face I see reminds me that I long to be

We're going on a field trip tomorrow. We're going home. Just for a short visit... but this time we're staying a couple of nights instead of our usual day trip and seven hours on the road. We're taking the pups with us, which means all kinds of nonsense in terms of tearing down and recreating their world in a temporary new place. I offered to stay home with the pups so Shawn could go on his own and not have to deal with the hassle of striking and rebuilding Puppytown... but he said no. He said either we would go together for a day trip leaving the babies at home, or we would find a way to make a real visit together.

He talked to M; and M is a man who gets things done. And he said they'd build part of the dog kingdom for us at their place so we'd have to move less stuff. He also said they were planning a little get together for us with a group of old friends we haven't seen in way too long. I'm looking forward to that.

J called to see if the rumour he'd heard about us coming back to town was true... and told Shawn that he and N are talking about filing for divorce. They're in a trial separation now and deciding what should come next. I remember when I was a little girl I believed that there was always a good person and a bad person in a divorce situation. But the idea of J & N splitting up makes me so sad for them both. They're both such good people - and somehow so cut off from each other without a way back. I don't know how that happened, or if it was just always that way right from the beginning. I'm wishing for them both to be okay, whatever they decide.

*

To add to the graveyard of no-longer-loved video games, Shawn has purchased "Guitar Hero 2", a game that came with a small plastic mock electric guitar, complete with strap and decals. It's hilarious watching him play it, strumming and posing and pretending to be a rocker. I need to buy him a package of cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey. I need to take his picture playing it before he grows bored of it and it goes the way of all video games.

*

This afternoon the puppies were wrestling and running and then suddenly one of them screamed and then started whimpering. I'm not sure what part of him was hurting. I picked him up and held him and he settled down and then after he calmed down I put him down and started bawling. That sound makes me sick in my heart, that scream.

Shawn was good - he understood. He helped me through it.

It's not so late, but I'm tired. I'm taking Atwood with me to bed.

*