half a mile behind the lines

Shawn wants to know if Christmas will mean more if we have our own family traditions instead of relying on our extended families' traditions. We don't do much for Christmas on our own. We have lights on the front of the house... but that's about the extent of it. No tree, no decorations, no cards.

I have to think about that. I'm not sure I need Christmas to mean more. Religiously speaking, I don't exactly revere Christmas... not because I don't believe in anything, but more because I kind of believe in everything. I can pray and I can believe and I can worship... all from home, all from the heart, and all the time. From the standpoint of consumerism... I participate in the money spending. I buy gifts for my family and friends. Though I loathe the shopping, I do enjoy giving gifts to the people I love, and yet again, Christmas isn't really a necessary part of that. It's something I do anyway.

So I guess I'm not sure what more I want Christmas to mean... I think what more I want it to mean is that we'll start being more actively involved in volunteer organizations. Giving money is nice... but I want to be there physically. Like it was in Kenya, I want to give my gifts with my own hands. It changes the act and it makes it more real. Writing a cheque is just not enough anymore.

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Bless you baby. I miss you.