There is a crazy weed that grows in my garden (which apparently is called "shotweed"). It is aptly named because it shoots seeds. When I lean in to grab this weed by its roots, it startles me over and over again by shooting, literally
shooting, seeds up in my eyes. I don't know how shotweed knows that it's about to be picked, but something brilliant in its design tells it that it is in danger, and it spreads its seeds all over the soil as a final orgasm before it dies, like a man with a terminal illness impregnating as many women as possible to ensure his genetic code lives on.
Shotweed is very annoying, mostly because it keeps on scaring me, but also because I know I'm fighting a losing battle with it and that irritates me. But at the same time I cannot help but feel very impressed with its cleverness. It makes me want to congratulate it, or congratulate evolution, itself directly, (or god?), for being so incredibly smart. Well played, shotweed. You are amazing.
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10 comments:
I have got to try and find a video of that on youtube. I'm no garden lover, but if I had a weed THAT cool in my garden, I would cease to consider it a weed. It would be my "tactical greenery" and I would be proud!
I just tried to find a video -- and instead came up with a myriad of videos of people smoking weed and doing shots. Maybe I should make my own video of the shotweed.
I didn't know the name of this stuff until now, but I hate it. I know it senses movement - probably when you are brushing against other plants or vibrations in the ground as you approach it. It pulls out easily enough but damned if the little seeds haven't already gone every where.
Here it is Therese. Not a great video but you can sort of see the seeds shooting. Mine seem a bit more energetic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3Z2TvyM4Ik
The quintessential acts of both self preservation and self-sacrifice by means of one final, magnificent display of machine gun-like plant jism spewed into the eye's of a perceived threat.
Resourcefulness of nature, or humor of the Gods?
Oh you've said that much better than I did. I'm giving you an A in commenting! Humour or resourcefulness, I really like it either way. It's wonderful.
I've never heard of Shotweed but will google it because I've probably encountered it somewhere along the way. It's good to have respect for ones enemies when they are truly formidable.
A formidible enemy indeed, very worthy of respect and horror at its evil genius behaviour. Glad to see you back, Susan.
What a clever little chap.
Isn't he? I'm quite proud of him even though he chooses to thwart me, rather like a parent feeling proud of a naughty but precocious child...
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