So the reason C didn't take Little J's call last night was that she was hospitalized again. Top secret stuff... so I don't know WHY. Was it another OD? Was it a suicide attempt? Was it a psychotic episode? Or... did she have a liddle sniffle?

My lawyer doesn't like the supervisor who monitors the visits between Little J and C. She thinks he is not impartial, and this may be true. I can't figure out who he's working for. Maybe he thinks we're awful people stopping Little J from seeing her mama. Maybe he's noticed that her mama slurs a lot and often has trouble communicating in her native tongue. I have no idea what he sees. I've realised that a lot of people can look at the exact same thing and go away and describe it completely differently.

I've also realised that when it comes to court proceedings and legal action you don't get to act on your instincts or trust your guts. You have to do exactly what your lawyer tells you and you have to ask your lawyer's permission before you say or do anything because otherwise you're going to fry under the scrutiny of the judge. It's all so tedious and exhausting. I cannot really remember what life was like when it belonged to me.


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