the feeling disappears you are someone else I am still right here

I cannot help but feel, here, that liberties are being taken. Getting out of bed early, getting showered and dressed and packing a bag all before the sun rises... and then waiting for the phone to ring in case you might have somewhere to go.

Last night I got invited to teach at a school that's just outside downtown on the city's trendiest street. I thought, how fun! I thought I'd walk around down there during my lunch break and window shop or find Christmas presents. Then I was told that the school has no parking lot. That means I'd need to be down there by about 5:30am to have any hope of finding a place to park. I declined.

I'm trying to remember all the things that Laura used to say about how great this was so I can appreciate it instead of feeling taken advantage of. But it's hard to remember what Laura said because I always tried not to listen to Laura.

It's an odd thing because my Pre-social Anxiety Disorder kicks up on the offchance that I'll be invited - that is, I would like to turn off the phone and go back to bed to save myself from having to go out and talk to people. And yet, there's a positive kind of anticipation too. I want to go out. I like people. I miss people.

A Chinook blew in last night and melted a lot of the snow. I didn't think we'd get Chinooks here... but I guess we do. Just not as often. The snow that's left is hard packed and icy.

A nice thing about our new life is that we get up early enough to see the sun rise.

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