Saturday, March 24, 2012

suitable boy

Allergy season has officially arrived.  I've been sneezing crazily for the last few days and wondering if I have a cold.  I wonder why it is that I assume, year after year, that I must be sick when allergy season starts.  Why don't I remember that I have allergies?  Well, I remember that I have allergies once I get that telltale itching in the corners of my eyes that only gets worse when I rub them, until I feel like tearing my eyeballs out of my face and running them under cold water.

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The wedding was lovely, and they were fortunate to have chosen a bright, clear, sunny day that was also cool enough that everyone could stay crisp in their fancy clothes and avoid melting.  Outside the Gurdwara (temple) there was a ceremony called the Milni in which the Granthi (priest) said a prayer and then the bride and groom's family members stepped toward each other one by one and gave each other flower garlands and hugged each other.  The symbolism of that was of the two families joining and becoming one.  It was a lovely simple ceremony and beautiful to watch.  J was particularly delighted to note that the Granthi was wearing Adidas sandals.

Once Milni was finished we were invited inside the Gurdwara to socialize and have snacks.  I drank a lot of chai tea, which is one of my favourites.  I definitely consumed more sugar than is strictly ideal.  After snacks we had to go and remove our shoes and cover our heads with scarves so we could go upstairs for the wedding ceremony.

Three men sang hymns and drummed (kirtan) as we found our way into the ceremony room.  Men sat on one side, women on the other, crossed legged on the floor.  Ahh, a religion I can appreciate.  I like sitting on the floor (although I do not normally attempt this in a dress).

During the ceremony J and I were really surprised by how casual the event seemed to most of its spectators.  When the bride entered the room looking absolutely beautiful (she wore a red bejewelled sari), I expected the same sort of awe that is usually quietly expressed at weddings -- but no.  In fact, many people didn't even bother to turn and look at her as she entered the room.  One of the important parts of the ceremony involved the bride walking around in a circle (four times) between prayer stanzas, with all her close cousins and brothers "helping" her around the circle signifying their support of her.  To my surprise, during this part of the ceremony people around me used their cell phones to send text messages, and one man across the hall even received a phone call.

Near the end of the ceremony we were all invited to stand for the final prayers.  Then all the people who had seemed not to be paying very close attention abruptly became pious and dropped to their knees and touched their foreheads to the floor.  J and I were not quick enough to participate in this, so we merely did an awkward move I will call the Crouch-and-Scramble. After that, a couple of men walked through the crowd of people distributing small handfuls of Karah Prashad (sacramental pudding) which tasted a bit like oatmeal with sugar.  And that was it.  We went back downstairs to recover our shoes, remove our scarves, and have some lunch.

Throughout the whole thing, I was fascinated by how casual it all seemed to be, interrupted by short moments of extremely detailed ceremony.  It was all very interesting, very educational, and made my wedding seem dreadfully boring.


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Spring break is nearly over.  Back to the grind on Monday.  That makes me sad, but at the same time I think it is about time we returned to normal eating patterns.  I feel as though I have eaten nothing but junk for the last two weeks.


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4 comments:

Secret Agent Woman said...

I wonder if your wedding seems boring in contrast mostly because it is so familiar to you? Maybe someone who'd only been to Indian weddings would find your more interesting.

I get insanely itchy eyes when I'm near cats. Hate that sensation of wanting to claw my eyeballs out of their sockets.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I never forget that I have spring allergies, but every time I was pregnant I thought I had the flu.

The wedding sounds perfectly lovely except for the cell phone guy. If only all marriages turned out as hoped for on the day they began.

mischief said...

Secret Agent, no doubt my wedding seems boring by comparison because the rituals were familiar. But also, I think, because I didn't serve anything nearly as exciting to eat and drink as chai tea and pakoras.

Susan, how funny that you thought each of your babies was a bug! Yes, the cell phone guy was kind of outrageous, at least to my sensibilities.

Nic said...

I remember walking through Nairobi. I remember looking at the beautiful women and children. I remember looking at all the colours while I watched the Masai dance, and the beads, and the bright reds. And I remember walking down the street in a long purple dress, and the paths cleared for me. Men came to speak to me, and women stood staring. All wide-eyed and smiles. I don't think I have ever felt anything like the feeling I had then of being somewhat unique and beautiful in the eyes of people. I came home and I was Nic again and nobody looked twice.

Funny. Writing that down warmed me a little, and I wonder if that feeling is more important than I realise. Must find that purple dress... ;-)