One night when I was 26 I kissed my best friend's husband. I did not know then he was going to be her husband. I still don't see it. We were sitting at a table in a pub, she and I, when a very drunken man lay down across our table between us and told me that he wasn't going to move until I gave him a kiss. I told him to fuck off and he laughed at me and didn't move and told me the same thing again, that he wanted me to kiss him. I told him no and started scanning the place for a bouncer to help me out but could not see one. The pub was very busy and a man lying on a table attracted no particular attention. He leaned in closer and asked me again, more quietly, to please give him a kiss. And this part makes no sense and can only be explained by the fact I had probably had too much to drink. I kissed him.
After that he got up off the table and went away and left us alone for awhile. My friend was appalled both with him and with me and I added it to my collection of stupid stories of inexplicable human behaviour and assumed we were done with him. But he came back later, and this time he wasn't interested in me. This time he wanted my friend. He didn't demand to be kissed by her but he hovered around a lot trying to get her attention. Unlike me, she was not inclined to kiss strange men and the more she ignored him the more persistent he became. Eventually they got married.
The End.
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6 comments:
So what this tells me is people can demand wild things of you so long as they are prepared to ask a few times. Ja, bipsy, nein?
Bipsy, but that is not what you were meant to learn. You were meant to learn that when you kiss strangers they immediately lose interest and move on to someone else who will not kiss them.
I agree with your assessment, but in this case I think you dodged a bullet. Liquor liberates the inner asshole.
You could not be more right. This husband is a raging alcoholic who sometimes goes missing for days at a time and if I could follow him at a distance I bet he still lies across tables in bars and demands that strangers kiss him. No regrets here.
Apart from the alcoholism, I absolutely loved this story.
Without the alcohol, though, this story would not have happened. He would not have behaved this way sober, and I also would like to believe that without my having had a couple of drinks I would not have been so easy to coerce. Then again, alcohol doesn't really change us that much, does it? Just weakens the walls a little...
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