We went sea kayaking this afternoon. Shawn busted me tasting the water which was stupid but I have this problem, as you can see, with wanting to put things in my mouth. It's like I'm still in the rooting phase. He wanted to prove this to me as though I do not already know it. Or maybe he just wanted pictorial evidence to prevent me from lying about it. He also takes video of the way I start talking with my hands after a couple of drinks. (I will spare you this proof.)
*
I do not only want to see Jesse because he will give me a cigarette. That isn't fair to him at all. If I actually wanted to smoke I could just buy cigarettes myself as I am well over eighteen; though I recognize that I need someone to smoke with in order for smoking to make any sense, there is a good deal more to Jesse than that. And smoking is disappointing like most things you think you really really want only because you can't have them. When you get them they're not so great; it is the hunger that makes you feel alive.
*
I have made a plan to go visit CC tomorrow. CC is a little nuts the way most of my closest friends are. When her mother died of pancreatic cancer ten years ago she inherited thirty thousand dollars and spent it all in one summer... on clothes. She really is quite batty and I love her. Aside from Jesse who only moved here a couple of weeks ago, CC is my only close friend from home, and something about sharing a long history with someone changes how you interact. I met CC in University when I was 21 and I like that she can remember things about then that I have long forgotten. She pays more attention to the things I say than I do.
*
5 comments:
All this time I have been waiting for a picture of your tongue, thankyou!!!!!!!
(ehC)
You are so right that it's the hunger for something that makes you feel alive. I'm sure that's why we do so much of it.
Did CC at least buy some clothes that would last forever, or were they all trendy? But then, I amaze myself with such a silly question - someone who would blow her inheritance on clothes would hardly care if anything was practical. Grief does strange things. Maybe she wanted to divest herself of that money as fast as possible because it was a reminder, and also because it couldn't replace her lost mother. I know, I think too much.
Ace I had no idea you were waiting for a tongue picture. I'm so glad to have made your dream come true.
Heart, you are absolutely a hundred percent right about the inheritance money. At a time in my life when I was desperate to be able to buy a little place, having access to this kind of cash was just about impossible to imagine. I kept asking her to consider making a down payment on a little condo or something but she wouldn't even consider it. She just kept buying clothes, and not practical clothes either. Gowns and lacy things - but to be fair CC used to wear gowns and lacy things places where most people would wear jeans and t-shirts. It was years later that she said to me exactly what you said, that she was trying to get rid of the money as fast as she could because it hurt her to have it instead of her mother, and if she could not have her mother she wanted nothing. I understand it... but it doesn't really make any sense.
It does to me. Which probably says more about me than you care to know.
It tells me some things, yes, but not too much, because "too much" seems to mean that it's more than I would want to know and that isn't the case. In fact I would like to know more about you because I find you so very interesting. And it also tells me that probably you could one of my friends in real life if you lived here instead of there and I would write things like, "Susan is a little bit batty, like all the people I love the most. She blah blah blah...." and that would be so much fun, wouldn't it?
Post a Comment