my empire of dirt

I remember hearing that a key to happiness and self-fulfillment was accepting one's own faults - and wondered, then, what was keeping me from being happy? As far as faults go, I sought and defined and analyzed and agonized over them since the earliest age I could remember, and did, absolutely, learn to accept them. Perhaps I even embraced them to an unhealthy degree, using my perception of myself as fatally flawed to prevent me from daring to do things I should have done and be things I should have been.

There was never a time I did not accept my faults. I am learning that what I had not done was accept my strengths. Flawed as ever, I do have strengths. And I am learning bit by bit not to be so afraid of them or let them be taken from me. I can work on what still needs work, and I can let the strengths compensate for other things.

***

Tomorrow is the radio interview. I am nervous.

Tuesday is the audition. I am nervous.