Everybody sees the wind blow in

Running has been going well again lately. I had a period of time where I was feeling discouraged by my sore knee, but after easing back a bit, I feel like it's getting better. I used the elliptical machine for awhile as it improved, and have been adding run days back into the cycle and they're working. Yesterday I felt especially hopeful when I was able to run the full ABCD Loop. (I don't know what that area is really called, but that's how I imagine it, like a four leaf clover, each loop coming back to centre enabling me to bail out four different times if necessary.) When I started that run I wasn't sure how much of it I would do. But after each loop I felt fine, and finished the whole thing.

I ask a lot of myself when I run. I ask for good form and steady pacing. I insist on keeping properly aligned, I make my feet strike evenly - heel to toe. I make myself take in water whether or not I feel like it. I ask my body to do a lot of things, but I don't ever ask myself for much in the way of speed. I'm not a fast runner by any means. I run for distance and not for time. That's the part of my training that is completely lacking.

There was a time when I wanted to run a marathon. Some races are open and anyone can enter, but many, like the Boston Marathon, require a qualifying time in order to register. That is, you can't even enter unless your speed is good enough, proven by a time taken at another race. Once I realised this, my interest in marathon-ing diminished significantly. I didn't want to race for time; I just wanted to finish. I have no spirit of competition within me whatsoever. (This is undoubtedly because I know I would come in dead last!)

I have never timed myself running but the qualifying time for women in my age group at the Boston Marathon is 3 hours and 40 minutes. I have grave doubts that I could qualify. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I don't have to enter an official race or register for anything in order to do what I want to do. What I want to do is to prove to myself that I can run 42 kilometres. That doesn't require a racing number or a registration. Shawn is encouraging me to do the first 42 km on the treadmill instead of outside, so that I'm HOME if anything goes wrong and he doesn't have to follow me with cups of water. I know that running on the treadmill isn't the same as running outside in terms of what it requires of the body, but he's right about the training.

I have no deadlines in my head right now. Maybe I'm just dreaming...

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