Laissez tomber

I started to read the Qur'an today. Not the original because it is in Arabic, but a translation. I wish I could speak Arabic. I have some utterly disgusting Arabic insults thanks to my grandmother who never found it worthwhile to teach us any conversational language but who obviously believed it was practical to know how to curse someone out thoroughly. But I strongly suspect her phrases are not in the Qur'an, and she was not Muslim anyway though many of her swears called upon Mohammed and Allah. I am not sure why I want to read the Qur'an or whether I will be able to get through the entire thing. But for now it is interesting me. My grandmother would undoubtedly have had something disgusting to say about this and it makes me laugh to imagine her voice, the broken English and the cussing. The Arabs really know how to say bad words and they taste delicious in my mouth.



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This afternoon I noticed that I love K. I was complaining to him about the spiders in the backyard. I'm rugged about mowing but I'm girly about spiders. I was explaining to him how I have let the back corner of the garden go completely wild so as to provide a place for the spiders and insects and slimy things to live undisturbed. I was telling him that I do not understand why they cannot be satisfied with living in that space, why they have to try and live in the parts of the yard that I consider mine when I have so considerately carved out a little place for them to live. Why can't they stay there and stay the hell away from me? K listened without changing expression and then told me I sound like the Canadian government talking about our First Nations. I felt proud of him like he was my creation, like I had made him myself. I told him so and he told me to shut the fuck up and quit being such an intimacy-whore. I am going to miss him when he moves back to his wife.


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