Friday, October 03, 2008

thank you disillusionment

Last night I overheard Little J on the phone offering to steal toothpaste and toothbrushes from our house to give to her mother. I am more and more frequently asking myself what we have gotten ourselves into here. The girl is her mother's daughter and as much as I adore her -- her mother has had eleven years to teach her a value system that she won't ditch just because she's living elsewhere. Instead we are struggling to understand her and struggling to gain her trust. Because to her, we are the ones who are skewed. I was counting on the fact that I had such a beautiful relationship with her when she was a toddler to help us find each other again now. But I am growing fearful we may already be much further apart than I thought we were. She may already be lost to me.


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I have a senior drama class comprised almost entirely of boys. There are three girls. And twenty seven boys. It is the worst-smelling group of humans I have ever encountered.



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