Well hullo there, lovely.  Beautiful out tonight, isn't it?  I have a blanket; pull your chair closer and share with me.  You seem like a girl who might not mind a little dog hair.

I don't mind the smoke.  In fact I'm always looking for a justifiable reason to take it up.  Being companionable is a good one, I think.  It would be rude for me to watch you smoke alone.  The first time I tried smoking I was thirteen and I did it because I was trying to impress a boy I liked.  He asked me why I wasn't inhaling, which tells you exactly how impressed he was.  When did you start?

After that I tried again in high school, when I was seventeen.  I thought it would make me more edgy.  I even learned how to inhale.  This proved useful later in theatre school where believable smoking was prerequisite to being cast in modern plays.  I developed a mad love for smoking, mostly because it gave me something to do, something to focus on when I was feeling socially awkward.  Somewhere to put my eyes and my hands.  I stopped because there came a time when I no longer had anyone that wanted to smoke with me.  Probably a good thing, really, but I still miss it.  

Does it feel good when you've done with the organizing and sorting?  Or do you just notice the empty spaces?  I feel so much better when my things are tidy and sparse.  Helps me think better.  But I hate the process of sorting and organizing.  I just want it done.

October is traditionally difficult but I think it could be better if I focused more on things like pumpkins and cinnamon and nutmeg.  There's a spice I like called Allspice, which reminds me of a mixture of all three of those.  I do not know how to cook or bake, but sometimes I carry the spice canister in my pocket so I can sniff it when no one is looking.  That's a little peculiar, isn't it. 

We see different stars this time of year where I live.  There's a constellation with the same name as someone I loved so much.  I always think of him in winter when the earth turns that direction.  He died very very young.  I like watching the stars but sometimes when I think too much about the vastness of it all it makes me feel a little more lost than I want to.  Lost enough that it becomes difficult to find my way back.

What kind of wine are we having?  I like red, very dry.  Do you?  It makes me laugh when it turns my lips purple.  Look, it matches your toenail polish.  It is a bit cool tonight.  Watching the seasons change is always beautiful and sad, but it feels less overwhelming when you have someone to feel it with you.

Your hair is pretty.  Goodnight, lovely.  Goodnight pup.

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