I have a treadmill in my living room that I do not use very often. I prefer running outside by far and now that I no longer live on the winter prairies I find it is possible to run outside most of the year as long as I am willing to get rained on, which I am. But somehow today I just wasn't up for getting wet and decided to use the living room treadmill.
As soon as I started I remembered why I hate it. J came into the room, sat down on the couch and looked at me. I asked her what she wanted. She said she wanted nothing. I told her to go away. Nicely. (Sort of.) She went away. A few minutes later Shawn came in and stood in the doorway staring at me. I told him to go away too without asking what he wanted. He ignored the request and instead decided to come into the room and stood behind the treadmill. He thinks he's soooo funny. After a lot of sexual remarks which I ignored he started pretending to run alongside me trying to make me laugh. I turned up my music and tried not to look at him. It was then he decided he was going to jump on the back of the treadmill behind me. I think he was picturing some kind of tandem-running thing where our strides would be equally matched.
Instead he hit the belt harder, perhaps, than he expected to, and was surprised by how fast it was moving. He lost his footing and was propelled rather violently off the end of the treadmill and onto the floor where he lay moaning and blaming me. It was very satisfying. I wanted to pretend not to notice that either but it was impossible. The comments and the miming were all things I had anticipated, but this slapstick bit was all new. Of course J had to come running to find out what all the noise was about and I turned off the treadmill and gave up and went outside where I should have been in the first place.
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2 comments:
Okay, falling on his ass off the treadmill after all the unwanted clowning around? Karma!
I hate people watching me exercise.
And by finding my lack of faith freeing (she says, continuing the conversation in an entirely tangential way) I mean that it allows me to follow my conscience in matters such as compassion and so on because I believe it to be a good thing rather than because I feel compelled by a creed or a god or a churchly authority. I like that.
I agree, karma. A totally earned and deserved crash. I like it when karma is quick on the uptake like that. I'm not sure why being watched while exercising is so intolerable but I cannot *stand* it.
I like the kind of freedom that lack of faith can bring the way you have described. I would rather receive kindness from someone who is kind to me out of feelings of compassion as opposed to someone who is trying to win favour with a higher power.
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