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Though my fears have allowed me long and frequent periods of uncertainty, I am becoming more and more sure of the fact that we are going to have Little J here with us until she is grown up and ready to move out on her own. We are effectively her parents and I cannot foresee a change in C that will ever allow her to resume that role, sad as it is.

Though it is so sad watching C choose her drug over her daughter, choosing to die slowly and with no grace, it is simultaneously a miracle to watch her daughter blossom into a more confident, more happy version of who she was seven and a half months ago when she arrived here. In spite of what's happening to her mother.

I'm heartbroken and optimistic simultaneously, nurturing and mourning at the same time.



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