Friday, May 04, 2012
To say I miss you is not only overly simplistic, it is also untrue; it only appears that way on the surface. I do not really miss you, and in point of fact, I'm not entirely sure that I like you. It would seem more truthful to say I miss who I was with you, but that is also overly simplified, cliché, and not particularly true. I do not miss who I was with you. With you I was insecure, anxious, and overeager. In the end I do not really know exactly what it is that I miss, or if I miss anything at all. Maybe it's just that I notice the empty space and wish there was something to put in it. Better that I learn to live with empty spaces and not always feel the need to fill them up with clutter.
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To live up to my label as public enemy numero uno, suckling at the public teat, worthless lazy vile (i.e. teacher) etcetera, I skipped teachers' conference today and went, instead, to the endodonist to find out why my tooth is thumping. He x-rayed and poked and pressed, thocked, and touched me with dry ice. All of this was exceedingly unpleasant, but no clear answer was found as to why the tooth makes thumpy feelings. So in the end, he did nothing other than invite me to call him again if things worsen. It's nice to have things to look forward to, isn't it.
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6 comments:
The dentist visit sounds a little torturous.
And the missing bit intriguing.
Mischief, I've missed you. There's been an empty space where you belong. I put some clutter in there, but it was not as beautiful as you, and it smelt a little funny. Without you I am insecure and anxious and perhaps overeager. And a little more mad. I do, of course, have to remember that the empty space was never empty. It was just different.
Teachers have that reputation over there too, do they? I wonder if it is universal. When did they stop being held in high regard?
Secret Agent, you're right that the dentist was a bit tortuous. Especially the dry ice bit. I hate cold on my teeth.
Pixie, I've missed you too! And I look forward to having more time in the near future; Alice is nearly done chasing the rabbit. (Reminds me of your old blog... I don't want to go among mad people....) Yes, teachers here are considered a blight upon society, especially these days because we have been in a tussle with the government for smaller classes and other such nonsense that is clearly a waste of taxpayer's hard earned money. Sigh, I try not to take it personally when people talk about how non-valuable teachers are, but it's difficult sometimes not to feel personally affronted by it all.
I once asked a friend who was a dentist why he chose to be one. He said, "I wanted to get even but didn't want to be a teacher."
It seems we miss even people with whom we didn't have rewarding relationships. We are nothing if not perverse, and habit is a powerful force.
Yes, habit is powerful. More so than good sense, I think where it comes to both teachers and dentists.
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