Friday, January 08, 2010

for the rest of your life when you're ready

After sending R to the hallway this afternoon so I could have a moment to think of how best to kill him, my annoyance dissipated too quickly and I forgot him out there. By the time I remembered him he was gone. As I stood there looking at the empty spot where he should have been I imagined him slipping into the second dimension the way Mario does in J's video game, turning to the side and becoming a thin black line, almost invisible, making juicy musical noises to signal the switch. I scanned the hallway for lines but there were none. If only annoyances always disappeared so cooperatively.


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I slept through the night for the first time I can remember in months and I think it's because of the watch, like my own Tell Tale Heart, beating under my pillow, but instead of keeping me awake it lets me sleep. Instead of pricking my conscience, it clears it, and the dreams are not frightening.



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J is nearly as tall as me now which isn't saying much, and she keeps wearing my shoes. The fact I own shoes a thirteen year old wants to wear seems weird. I have some growing up to do. I can raise children and lower adults simultaneously... watch me.


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Tomorrow I'm going to the sea.



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