I once saw a television show in which the topic of discussion was tapeworms. According to the information this show delivered, there are some (insane) American women who intentionally infect themselves with tapeworms in order to lose weight, because parasites are a whole lot better than exercising or dieting, I suppose.
I would like to propose that these women allow me to send them a swab of my flu germ instead of choosing to contract tapeworms. In the last five days I have been dropping weight at an alarming rate, and am now officially lighter than I was in high school, about 115 pounds. This flu also comes with a wonderful ab workout -- interval barfing for the lower abs and incessant, unproductive coughing for the upper abs and obliques. My abs ache.
Of course I am shaky, weak, my skin is dry, and my eyes are glassy and bloodshot. But whatever, anything to be thin and beautiful, right?
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C phoned me from work to tell me that Crazy Sue has applied for a longer leave. Her return date is now marked as May 2nd. It grows increasingly less likely that I will have to see her again. Inshallah.
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Poor Shawn. He is so sick now. I think he is skinnier than he was in high school now too, and a whole lot smarter. I would like to have one more day to be his matching bookend lying lifeless on the couch, but I think I am going to attempt to rejoin the world tomorrow. He should really stay home for at least one more day. He looks like hell. We have managed not to poison the kid, which is nothing short of miraculous.
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7 comments:
I'm home sick today too. I cannot imagine infecting myself with anything just to lose weight.
Ugh, a tape worm. I'd die of the heebies.
meno, sorry to hear you're sick too. Definitely not worth the accompanying weight loss. Hope you're back to healthy soon.
Secret Agent, I agree. So disgusting. I cannot imagine intentionally ingesting tapeworms!
Sorry to hear you are sick. I hope you are well soon. If you go off the grid, will you be near a doctor? Does that sort of thing come into it? I watched 'Grand Designs' the other day, and the house had submarine batteries for storing power, and many solar powered screens. They also had a lap top, and I wondered whether you would take much technology with you to make it comfortable and cosy.
Thanks Paul. Yeah, we thought about that too, particularly because we wouldn't to take the dogs away from proper veterinary care. I think we'd really aim to stay close enough to civilization to still have access to emergency services. Shawn has all kinds of important electronic gadgetry that he would miss terribly if we didn't have some sort of power, so I'm sure there would be all kinds of stored power required to keep him happy. :) (In other words, it might all be a pipe dream.)
So sorry to hear you're sick. Shawn, too. Sending lots of loving thoughts and air hugs (no puppylike heat.) I remember once when Flip and I were both too sick to take care of each other - we just lay in bed, coughing competitively except for when we had to vomit. Good times! Feel better soon!
Thanks Susan, I am feeling quite a bit better now, and well enough to go back to work. Shawn is better too, although we are still "coughing competitively". So gross.
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