There are simple things I would blame for insomnia, and when I use the word I do not refer to a clinical case, just a persistent annoyance. Simple things like racing thoughts, incomplete lists, obsessive compulsive tendencies. But there is a more complex underlying cause - which can also be simplified (as quantum physics) - which not only keeps me awake, but wakes me up early, makes me late for work, stops me from leaving work, and steals my sleep right from beneath my eyelids while I dream.
I think about the Large Hadron Collider, and the god particle. And I think about the multiverse, the potential for time to flow in different directions simultaneously, the possibility that water moves with my kinetic energy, the fact that light is (obviously) not the fastest thing. And if these things are true, then what. It does not mean I genuinely understand any of the things I am thinking about, but they are still interfering with my sleep -- which makes them Real even if it does not make them True.
The PhD is officially underway (nothing whatsoever to do with quantum physics), and I have accomplished, at this point, absolutely nothing.
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7 comments:
Hmmm.
Hmmm.
Erm...
Stop it and go to sleep, is all I can think to suggest. Being stupid, as I am, I wasn't entirely sure what the Large Hadron Collider was. And, what is more, I read it as Colander (stupidity plus medication-related confusion) so I had an image in my head of a Large Colander. And I wondered what a Large Colander could possibly drain. Exceptionally large vegetables, perhaps.
It turns out that I understand the concept of a Large Colander far better than the function of the Large Hadron Collider. Physics was never my thing. Colanders clearly are.
Please tell, what are you intending to study?
These thoughts will only make insomnia worse. Of course, fretting about relationships and life in general don't help either, so I got nothing.
Great, now I can add to my list of Real things to keep me up at night...
Pixie, I do not really understand the Large Hadron Collider either, which is precisely why it keeps me awake, because I feel ridiculously desperate to make sense of it. And, if you were to flip through my parents' photo albums you would be left with the impression that I spent most of my toddlerhood wearing a colander on my head. I am studying clinical psychology, or at least I will be if I ever get started.
Secret Agent, interesting that when I first read your comments, I was putting historical revisionism here, as a technique for combating insomnia -- and it surprised me because I find that also keeps me awake at times. Similar to overthinking life and relationships.
Bridget, do you have trouble sleeping? What else is on your list?
I think I read that the notorious neutrino that zipped along faster than light may be in doubt. You know that the Hadron folks sent out their observations and calculations and whatever to noted labs around the world asking them to review the data to see if they came up with the same conclusion. One lab said that they think the data is suspect because the gravity effect at the starting point and the ending point of the neutrino's journey may not have been calculated properly. We are talking about a number way to the right of the decimal point.
Now you can either sleep better knowing that your comfortable light speed absolute is probably still intact. Or, knowing you, you may lose more sleep over the fact that the rule may have not been violated. Damn rules!
I can't comprehend it at all, but I know it is supposed to be important with the creation of mini black holes and the god particle and all. I need to go back to Star Trek. They put it into language I could understand.
Congratulations on your PhD journey, and may the String Theory work to your advantage.
Lisa, I can usually fall asleep okay--it's the staying asleep that's the problem. All my 'imaginary friends' want me to fix their lives...Leila, Jared, Myles and Angela still want a definitive outcome!
Does counting sheep actually work for anyone? Even as a child, I thought it was a stupid idea. Unfortunately, I don't have a better one but if anyone does, I'll be paying attention.
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