Sometimes people think that I am shy. And sometimes people think the fact I do not say much means I do not think much. And I have been told several times that I give a first impression of being haughty. I am none of these things, not timid or vacant or stuck up, but I think this is how introverts are often misunderstood. Shawn says people form this last impression based on attractiveness, but he is supposed to think that for my sake, and I am not nearly as attractive as he thinks I am.
Introverts are allegedly only about 25% of the population. Imagine how short staff meetings would be if there were more of us. Sometimes I am so frustrated by the way people have to give voice to every single thought that crosses their minds. I cannot relate to this way of being, cannot imagine what it would be like to say everything I was thinking. Perhaps this is why I like writing, because it allows me to say more. Shawn says saying less leaves people wanting more, but he is supposed to think that for my sake, and I am not nearly as interesting as he thinks I am.
Extroversion and introversion exist on a continuum, and I find myself moving more and more in the direction of introversion as I get older. This is why I need to change careers. This is why I have less friends, less invitations, and less concern about these things than I have ever had in my life. If I keep moving at this rate I will be a hermit before I hit forty. Being around people makes me tired, really really tired. I get so tired of small talk, so tired of gossip, so sick and tired of meaningless noise. Shawn says I'm funny when I'm tired. I'm not.
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6 comments:
but.."you are",,,
I think I put this comment on the wrong post.
I think I understand. I have definite hermit inclinations which grow stronger with the years. I have no idea what people think of me and while I can't honestly say I don't care, it is beyond my control so I don't think about it too much.
Thanks Big Paw. I'm really not, but it's nice to have people think so anyway. Susan, I know what you mean; I can live with being thought stupid or shy, but it bothers me if people think I'm looking down on them.
I always think people say too much. Words uttered just for uttering sake. But then, they seem to be the ones that are surrounded by others. Maybe people ache for chatter, I don't.
I suspect you are more interesting than you think you are.
I think I ache for quiet just as much as those people ache for chatter. Though I don't want what they want, I can understand it, respect it, and give it space to happen. It's not reciprocal.
And not only is it on a continuum, but it is not necessarily aligned with how people re-charge. I'm a bit of an extrovert (not strongly) who needs serious alone time to re-group).
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