Sunday, January 30, 2011

On weekdays I set my alarm for 6:30 but I usually wake up before 6:00 and as soon as I wake my mind floods with thoughts that prevent me from being able to go back to sleep.  On Friday morning I was thinking about people and how they relate to each other, and how they create and maintain and close the spaces between themselves.  I was looking for a pattern that would tell me what all people do, but all people -- at least all the people I know -- do not behave the same ways.  I included dogs in my measurements because I spend a lot of time with dogs.

Mirrors are people like me.  They are largely reactive.  When someone moves closer to me this is a signal I should move closer too, and likewise when someone pulls back I do the same.  So this has a doubling effect which can probably be disconcerting.  (Imagine you only wanted to come three steps closer, but suddenly now you are six.  Or the opposite, you just wanted a little space and suddenly I am gone.)

Satellites, I know lots of satellites.  Maybe they are the most common?  I am choosing Palmer as my case example.  He's a dog.  He was meant to be a foster dog, just here for a few weeks while the rescue agency found him a home, but he made such funny obscene sounds when I rubbed his belly that I couldn't let him go.  Satellites need the distance between themselves and the other person to stay the same.  They like consistency, like a foster dog that has been starved sometimes, ignored, and also sometimes smacked around.  He wants love but not too much, he wants distance but not too much.  So when you move toward a satellite they back up to maintain the right distance.  When you move away they come forward.  Satellite is the wrong word I chose -- because satellites should orbit.  I forget why I picked the word satellite.

Suns.  They stay in the same place no matter what.  My father is like that.  He's just exactly as close as he means to be, and it doesn't matter, the push-you pull-me stuff does nothing to him.    The sun does not move, he cannot be drawn in closer than he should be, and he cannot be pushed away, not even if you write off his car.  



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9 comments:

J.B. Chicoine said...

okay, I had the feeling all your little diagrams had something to do with spatial relationships between 'bodies'—perhaps entities is a better word. I think that is some very astute categorizing you’ve done…must ponder some more...

heartinsanfrancisco said...

It is also necessary to factor in a person's cultural heritage, as degree of physical closeness differs from one to another -- while North Americans generally maintain a bit of personal space, Middle Eastern people are right in your face by comparison. I think I am flexible, depending on how comfortable I feel with another and also how they smell. I have the nose of a tracking animal and cannot abide the odors of many people.

mischief said...

I agree... though I was thinking about emotional closeness as opposed to physical closeness. Of course that's cultural too, and perhaps it is the racial mixing that makes me feel pulled in more than one direction?

heartinsanfrancisco said...

I imagine we're all racially mixed if you go back far enough, even when it isn't evident.

I am convinced that I was a dog in my last incarnation because dogs "know" me -- they strain at their leashes to get to me on the street with loving eyes and passionate tongues. It's more than knowing who likes their species. Everyone notices sooner or later that dogs have a thing for me. I can't think of any other explanation.

secret agent woman said...

And some of us are a combination given the circumstances or other being. Sometimes I react, sometimes I move in opposition to maintain distance.

mischief said...

I like these complicating factors but I do not know how to draw them on my keyboard.

Anonymous said...

I feel terribly lonely tonight. No jaxiness.

mischief said...

I sent you some. Do you need more?

glnroz said...

satelite? ,,, I think is not a "wrong" word. Very interesting concept. i wonder which i fit into. hummm