Two days until the Togetherness begins again. We're flying out to the winter prairies on Wednesday afternoon. Togetherness wilts me and thinking about it takes away my words. There is no way not to attend your sister's memorial, there is no way not to be Together when everyone else wants to be Together. It does not matter what I want, which is to be alone with it, because this is how we do death. We do it Together.
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5 comments:
I feel your pain, not literally of course, but I get this must be tough. I was thinking about this today and I kept getting a picture of you balancing stones on a beach or something. Maybe this is a picture in my head of the way I would deal with it. I don't know the words to write but I feel in time the words for you will come.
You have your way of dealing with this, your own relationship to this. I think for many of us times like this especially with such a deep relationship, can be best felt in those moments with yourself. Hopefully, being with the others in the togetherness isn't too much for you. If it was me I would do was was required and go. Or maybe I would do what was required for those that needed this and get to the front door and then leave. Being there in your own way, being there, but not being there. Maybe going to find a quiet place by yourself, leave early, do what you need to do. I would go to a quiet place before and after, or maybe neither. I would do what is needed, that's all. I think I would listen to the internal you, like you do, so the thing you need to do will come.
I just wanted to send you a note to let you know I care, and your in my heart and thoughts.
Be kind to yourself. Paul
Thank you Paul for good thoughts and for sending your parents to take mine out bowling for at least one afternoon while I'm there so I can have a couple of hours off from all the requirements. Thank you for caring and thank you for understanding. You also be good to yourself; talk to you soon. xx
I'm sorry you have to role play, which probably feels disloyal to your own feelings. I, too, really dislike such State Occasions with family members all trying to outdo each other as best mourner, dragging out platitudes as if they were brand new thoughts. But I also think your presence will be a comfort to your niece and that's reason enough to be there.
Sending hugs if they help at all.
you are taking my love with you my friend. I'll be thinking of you and hoping you find a way to get some sanity breaks. I love you muchly xxxx
Oh boy. I'm a big believer in letting people grieve as they will, not in some fashion to be ordained by the family. Sending my good thoughts your way.
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