C has announced she is leaving (moving to a different role within the same organization), and this brings to mind two immediate thoughts, selfishly, about how this impacts me. The first thought is that I am glad I have become more capable of being pleasant when I am irritated, because I have often felt irritated with C, and as her new position holds some clout, it is a good thing we will part on good terms without my having shouted, will you please make some space for my existence here? The second thought is that her departure leaves space for my existence here and that means having more responsibility than just showing up and nodding along while C does all the talking. This is, of course, one of those double-edged swords; floating along without much responsibility has left me feeling somewhat bored and useless… and at the same time it has freed me up to work sort of slapdash, peck, peck, poke. With time in between these brief moments to do my own coursework, go for walks, and so forth. A quiet kind of a life. I am looking ahead now at re-engaging with work again, and my feelings about this are ambivalent. But if it was my call whether to have C stay or go… I would choose go. And she’s going.
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