EMDR works

EMDR really works, at least it works on me.  A big part of the training course, obviously, is the practicum part where we try what we're learning on each other.  This time I chose my targets carefully, a real attempt to get some work done rather than a vague trust fall.

Target 1 was my difficulty with R as a client.  R is a selective mute, and not the kind who will happily write down what he's thinking or draw me a picture.  His body is nearly as mute as his voice.  He just sits and looks at me, expressionless, lifeless, barely breathing.  It makes me uncomfortable and I have struggled to force myself to work with him.  I wanted to clear that apprehension of mine, get over my own fears, so that I could persist with this kid.  I processed it, and today I called him down to my office and worked with him a bit.  Just briefly, but not because I was letting him push me away.  Just because I had a plan to titrate his discomfort - rather than my own.  It was interesting.  I was able.

Target 2 was my vacillation around undergoing EMDR therapy with a professional practitioner.  The flaky psychologist who couldn't organize her schedule briefly dissolved my confidence.  I processed that too, my fear and my weird stigma-oriented response to doing therapy even though I make a living at providing therapy.  And then I came home and looked for a new EMDR practitioner, who happened to be a man with big white teeth and a muscle-y looking neck.  I picked him on purpose because he repelled me the first time I saw his picture.  But he actually has better qualifications than the first one I picked.  We have set up a meeting in four weeks.  I have no doubt I will feel nervous about this meeting - but I also believe I will follow through.

So yeah, EMDR works.  I am going to use it more often with my kids.


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