R phoned me tonight to ask about the potential for an investigation. The conversation was very one-sided. It was interesting to listen to him talk, mostly to himself, and rewrite the facts. He retold me a story that we both know is not true, but I found myself unable to dispute it. And it made me wonder if he has forgotten that I know what really happened, and if he has convinced himself that the new version is the real one. It also makes me wonder if it is possible that I am the one who does not know the facts, and if it is at all possible that I have remembered things incorrectly. In any case, I said very little because I was listening carefully. If there is an investigation, I wonder if I am permitted to refuse to participate, having no interest in getting anybody into trouble, and wanting only for the victim to be safe from further humiliation.
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E has asked me if I will read her daughter's diary and discuss it with her. I said I would, although the thought is frightening. I expect her diary will be painful to read. And I want to help support E in her grief, although I am unsure if this is really a good way to accomplish that. Sometimes people want things that aren't good for them.
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2 comments:
I was asked once (while on internship) to sit with a patient while he read a letter from his recently deceased sister. He wasn't ready and I knew it, but I caved into what my supervisor wanted. I'm more careful now.
How sad that must have been. Interesting that you could sense he was not ready but your supervisor thoguht he was.
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