Tuesday, October 27, 2015

irrelevant intrusion on a writer's intentions

It is at least a little bit ironic that I spend hours each week teaching young people about mindfulness and neuroplasticity, while my own brain simultaneously ticks forward and backward and forward again and barely perceives the present moment.  I stand before these young people and remind myself aloud, Mindfulness practice is for everyone.  Tick tick tick.  Can they tell I am somewhere else?

I am the world's best time traveller.  I can go back - I can go forward - I can go back; I leave behind my lifelike corpse, adept at mirroring facial expressions and making reflective statements.  You seem to have a strong opinion about that.  Tell me more.  What's your name?  Why that's fantastic.  He is a genius, everyone!  Please, tell us what you said one more time (because I wasn't listening).  And so forth.  I wonder if I am good at my job.  I wonder if I am good at my life.  How can I be sure?  The feedback is fine, but I find my own insouciance unsettling.



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2 comments:

Spindrift said...

Recently listened to some mindfulness Jedi on the radio and he says he's been trying to be mindful for a bunch of years unsuccessfully in the shower. So I've been trying you know, to concentrate on the water, to live in the present, the moment, and just like the Jedi, I fail. But it feels good trying.

mischief said...

Trying does feel good. I try too. Sometimes. Other times I enjoy letting my mind go wherever it wants and seeing how far it can get before it comes back.