Pro-D today. The teachers' union and the administrators' union have been battling all year for control of professional development, and the administrators won. Now instead of teambuilding we get sessions on professional relationships, which means nothing except that we have swapped ping pong tournaments for scavenger hunts.
For some reason when we have these kinds of events I always end up partnered with ND, the Physical Education bwana: competitive, enthusiastic, and excited beyond all reason. All over the Island I spot my colleagues hiding in coffee shops, shopping in the market, and some even sneaking pints of beer. But I'm chained to Superman and he wants to win. He wants to win badly enough that he is willing to dumpster dive, harass strangers, and steal car fresheners out of unlocked vehicles. He talks incessantly. I wonder if he talks this much during sex. I ask him and he laughs, but I am not kidding, and then he starts talking again.
I buy a coffee and ask for my change in fucking Canadian dimes minted in the 80s. The coffee barista seems to find my bitterness amusing and cooperates. That's my contribution to the scavenger hunt. I hand over the dimes and ND hugs me exuberantly as if I have done something miraculous. He finds the other eleven items on our list, and gets bonus points for trading our paper clip for a paper flower, and the flower for a Bay bag fragrant with garbage, and the bag for a beer banner big enough to "cover the entire West wall of the garage!". He figures he's one trade away from the million dollar lottery home. I buy another coffee and make sure to sit far away from him on the bus ride home.
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3 comments:
Omigod, what is the rationale for torturing teachers so absurdly? Yes, Phys Ed types are always bounding with superhuman enthusiasm and a serious (demented) need to win everything. I'm so sorry. Soooooo sorry. It sounds truly hellish.
I don't really know why we do things like this. I know I used to love this kind of thing when I was 25; I have no idea how the P.E. guys stay excited despite being older (and wiser) than I am. It could have been a fun day if I'd been partnered with someone willing to break the rules.
Ah..team building exercise. This is sure to make you a better teacher and endear yourself to your fellow educators. Instead one finds more people to avoid in the halls.
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