Crazy Big Eyes and the Condo Biddies

Yesterday I found a note in my mailbox from Crazy Big Eyes. It said, "Lisa, Mary (that's Denim Hat) and I were doing building inspection and noticed that your cedar tree needs pruning. Call me. We can help." Then she left her phone number.

That confirms that Crazy Big Eyes and Denim Hat are on the board, which I assumed before but wasn't certain of.

Damned if Crazy Big Eyes and Denim Hat were going to come over and help me.

I took the hacksaw outside this afternoon and cut the cedar tree down from 12 feet to about 6 feet. There. I am covered in scratches and blisters. I also noticed while I was hacking away that MY neighbours' yard is strewn with beer cans. I wonder if Crazy Big Eyes and Denim Hat left them a note too, or if my tree was really a more pressing problem.

I have to let myself relax and believe that I am not the only person in the neighbourhood who receives these assinine notes, but they make me very angry. I guess you can't really hear the tone of a written message, but I felt condescended to. I felt like penning a response, "Crazy Big Eyes, I have pruned the offending tree. See you in five minutes."

I was briefly in a quandary as to what to do with the remains of the cedar tree, knowing that disposing of the branches in the community dumpster across the street would undoubtedly illicit another note. I considered lighting them on fire in my backyard. I even went so far as to go inside and get matches. Then my Little Censor guy cut in and said, "What on EARTH are you doing?" and I realised that the chances were high that I would burn the entire neighbourhood to ashes. So, I threw one branch in the dumpster and hid the rest under my barbeque. I will sneak one branch into the dumpster each day until they are all gone.