sarcastic dishrag

S is leaving, which makes me both sad and hopeful about the future.  He is a lovely person, kindhearted and warm.  He is easy to work with because his expectations are minimal, and he thinks everything I do is wonderful.  This is a soft place to be, and I like it, but it does not challenge me; all my challenge comes from other sources, but it is his office where I spend the most time collaborating, and he has little to offer to that process beyond compliments.  He has been offered an opportunity that is good for him, and for which he is well-suited.  In the interim until summer I will be working with H, which is great.  H is stronger than S in terms of discipline.  He isn't afraid to call parents and to call kids out on stupid behaviour.  He is also kind and warm, and his compliments (unlike S's compliments) contain a bit of innuendo.  He will listen to me and do what I tell him - for the most part.

The real question is who will be assigned to the position in September, because I will work with that person closely for the next five years.  It could be anyone, but I have a vision in my mind's eye of who it should be.  The District doesn't generally (has never) answered my prayers in this regard and yet I chose to hope this time it will be different.  I don't care if they send me a man or a woman; I just want someone smart who will balance their kindness with some leadership and direction.  I want it all.  (Amen.)


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I am not going to work today because I am owed time, and it always strikes me funny how I struggle with these days off.  Although they are a treat, at the same time I cannot help but check my email throughout the day to find out what I'm missing, and I cannot help but feel aggravated imagining the fuck-up things that the rest of them will do for my kids while I am gone.  Yes, that's right.  I am irreplaceable.  (Haha.)


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I have embarked on another water fast.  Our first fast was highly successful (though difficult) and we managed seven days without any cheating.  Since then we have attempted a few more, and always broken down around the end of day two, which is when hunger peaks - along with irritability and fatigue.  It's the hardest part, and we have been weak.  This time I am doing it alone (S is doing cardio and doesn't want to lose momentum), and somehow I think this will make it easier rather than more difficult, because I cave when he caves.  It's only the start of day 2, however, so I may not be as strong as I think I am.  But I have strategically organized my time so that I will return to work on day 5, by which point the misery should have abated.  I will save my worst self for my family, who are forced to tolerate me in spite of my plan to morph into a sarcastic dishrag for the next 48 hours.


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