Roy

Our neighbour's wife had cancer for two years.  She passed away yesterday.  When I try to imagine that kind of loss it feels impossible.  I imagine he had two years to prepare himself for her death; if he is anything like me he thought about it all the time and tried to figure out ways to prevent it, ways to live with it, ways and ways and ways.  But it still seems impossible to me, impossible that a person can lose their life partner and still keep on living their life.  It is my worst fear, truly my worst fear.  Sometimes Shawn tells me he plans to die first so he doesn't have to go through this exact thing, and he assures me that science is on his side.  Statistically women outlive men.  It scares me, and I don't think it's funny.  He thinks he's funny.  Or maybe he really is scared, like me.  Both things could be true at the same time.  Perhaps we need a suicide pact.  Canada has been improving their assisted suicide laws; by the time we are ready maybe we can have a civilized conversation and make an informed decision.  It isn't funny.

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