Paul

On Wednesday evening I sent B a text to remind him we are going to the Paul Simon concert next week.  Normally B responds very quickly when I talk to him.  When I went to bed he still had not responded, and I knew that he was going to bail.  He finally answered at 4:00 on Thursday, admitting that he was double-booked.  He was apologetic.  I was unsurprised.  (The surprise was when he accepted my invitation - because he would have had to take a night off his other job, which he clearly did not.)

What he could not know was that I had been somewhat dreading our night together.  While it seemed like fun when I invited him, it's indubitable that my exuberance was at least partially bolstered by wine.  A sober eight weeks later it was starting to make me nervous to imagine trying to talk to him for longer than five minutes, face to face rather than by text.

B is a nice guy, but he's so introverted.  I have never been alone with him, and I didn't (don't) have confidence in my ability to facilitate an entire night of back and forth with him.  Prior to the concert we would have had to manage transportation conversation, and then dinner conversation.  I was apprehensive about all of it, so when he apologized profusely and asked me for another date in the summer, it was with no difficulty that I forgave him lightly and completely ignored the request for another chance.

I am taking J to the concert instead, and there is nothing inside me that feels uncomfortable with that.


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