trauma

Today was an admin directed Pro-D day in the sense that they directed me to do it for them.  It was supposed to be their responsibility to find a presenter, but they obviously left it too long and couldn't find one, which was how it ended up on my plate.  When they asked the counselling "team" if we could offer a session on mental health, I cringed at the thought of delivering a workshop with my team.

I work with people who need to be educated about trauma-informed counselling.  I do not work with people who should be educating others about these things.  

The same way that I choose not to sit next to BB in staff meetings because I do not want anyone to think that I agree with her loud sighs, eye rolling, and sarcastic mumblings, I do not want to stand next to my counselling team and have anyone confuse their idiocy with mine.  (I am confident I am an idiot about many things, and in many ways, but I do not want to be mixed into their kind of idiocy.)

So I said I would give the presentation, the whole thing, no help from them.  And none of them had a problem with that, which makes me laugh because if one of them did that, I would have a lot of questions about why.  But not one of them wonders why I don't want their help, don't want them near me, don't want to collaborate with them.... (Or perhaps they want nothing to do with me, either, and are relieved?)

I created the presentation myself, and delivered it myself, and I think it went over well.  My staff is so supportive and kind (and it helps that I drank a lot of beer with many of them on Saturday night).  Giving presentations actually makes me want to throw up, which just illustrates how awful it is that I would rather put myself through it than work with the other counsellors. 

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