ID10T

Tomorrow night I am going to a work party.  Normally I avoid work parties, however, at the last staff meeting I sat beside SU who scolded me for my lack of participation in these things.  He asked me why I never show up, and I agreed with him that for the most part, I am terrible at being any fun whatsoever.  It is entirely possible that I spent an adequate amount of time drinking in my twenties, but that's hard for people to understand, people who either didn't spend an adequate amount of time drinking in their twenties, or people who have unlimited capacity for drinking and partying.

A day after promising to try harder, SU invited me to a thing.  Dammit.

And I don't want to go, which makes me wonder why I am going, and makes me wonder why I want to be invited even though I never want to go.  And I want to have gone, even when I don't want to go.  And it makes me wonder why at my age I should care about the fact that the cool kids still want me to play with them, because I don't want to play with them, but I still want them to want me.  The only possible answer is that I am an idiot.

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