to apply

It does not seem long ago that words were like toys, fascinating toys like puzzle pieces that could fit together a million ways to create a million different pictures.  There was joy in stringing them together, stretching the string and watching it snap, feeling their reverberations bounce off my throat.  Mixing and swapping words, testing different combinations and using them to change tones.  Playing with their subtlety and brutality.  My ability to command them has slipped lately, and they have become utilitarian, meant for giving instructions or responding to instructions, conveying meaning rather than feeling, and I have not missed (much) their other uses.  Why?  So many words go in but not many come out.  I think instead.  In pictures.

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