will you still love me tomorrow?

Walking into a job where the expectations seem to be loose and and undefined is not as relaxing as one might think. Instead, I feel a bit overwhelmed by the idea that not only do I have to fulfill the (invisible) expectations, but first I have to define them for myself.

I'm not ready.

It annoys me that there is NOTHING written on paper to prepare me, and that instead it was presented in an uninterrupted flurry of verbal instructions with no time to process or use the information before a new piece was presented. My brain doesn't work like that. I haven't retained much. I'm not ready.

Not only am I not ready, but having planned to spend my evening preparing myself, I completely forgot that I'd agreed to attend a jewelry party with one of The Wives. Why is it that wives always want to make friends with other wives? Why can't we just leave each other alone? I don't want any jewelry. I don't want any friends. Why do I always accept invitations to do things I don't want to do with people I don't want to know?

I hope they're selling those pendant/stopwatch things at this party that are used to stop time.

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